Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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