everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
