whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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