I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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