come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
