A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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