Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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