No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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