***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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