He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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