she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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