i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize
