why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
