how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
