I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
