so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize