Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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