so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
