She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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