Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Randomize