Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
