He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
