Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
