carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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