the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
