So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
