I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
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