i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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