ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
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