dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
