If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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