Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
