she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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