so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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