I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
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