i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
MIDGETS
????
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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