If that was your dad, he is hot
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
