Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Me too!
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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