she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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