This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
