and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
