I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
