I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
