hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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