She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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