when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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