I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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