No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
