guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
