I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
oh god was she eating orange peels again
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
third nipple confirmed
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
