And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
