I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
