remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
