Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
