dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
