i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
