We need to rekindle our bromance
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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