Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
