i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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