Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
