from now on my penis is your penis
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Randomize
