So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
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my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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