doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Randomize
