I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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