Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize